Lies (You're a Coward to the End)
by MissMaryMason
Summary: [kyman] Kyle feels his heart drop to the floor when Wonderwall by Oasis starts playing from inside his closet. "Do you hear that?" Stan asks, looking around for the source of noise. "Sounds like Wonderwall."


_[txt] what r u wearing_

Kyle shakes his head and texts back.

_[txt] your rammstein shirt and boxers, why?_

Kyle didn't have to wait long for Cartman's response.

_[txt] ;) want me to come over?_

Kyle bites his lip and glances at his bedroom door. His mom would probably kill him if Cartman came over this late, but knowing him, he probably wasn't planning on using the front door anyway.

_[txt] my window is open_

Two months ago, Cartman came out of the closet in the most dramatic way he could; with cupcakes, confetti, and a song and dance number in front of the school. Kyle didn't care much for it, he'd guessed that Cartman was gay in middle school when he'd called Patrick Swayze's "_To Wong Foo_" one of the greatest movies ever. It wasn't until after school that day when Kyle had just finished basketball practice that Kyle even gave Cartman a second thought. For a long time Kyle had been struggling with his sexuality. He didn't want to admit he was gay if it was all just a phase, and the problem was he just didn't know. He wanted to experiment, but he figured he'd just have to wait until college to do that. He'd never thought about trying anything with one of his friends. But now one of them was actually openly gay, and he wanted to know how they could possibly be so sure.

Awkwardly, he had knocked on Cartman's front door, unsure of what he was even planning to say. Unfortunately for him, Cartman himself answered the door, so he didn't even have time to think of anything.

"Kyle? What are you doing here?"

"Uh," Kyle paused. "Can I come in?" It didn't seem like Cartman was going to let him in for a moment, but then he moved to the side and motioned for Kyle to follow him. Sitting on the couch in the living room, Kyle still wasn't sure what he wanted to ask, so he blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "So you're gay now?"

Cartman scoffed. "I don't know what you mean by /now/. I've always been gay. You don't just turn-"

"Yeah, I know." Kyle interrupted, feeling his face flush. "I mean, I didn't know you were. You know. Gay."

"Oh, well, yeah. I am. So, go ahead and rip on me for it if that's why you're here, but I don't really care."

Kyle kept his head down, refusing to make eye contact. "How did you know?"

Cartman quirked an eyebrow, which went unnoticed to Kyle. "How did I know I was gay?" Kyle nodded. "I'm just... not in to chicks."

Kyle looked up then, frowning. "But how do you know you're in to guys? Maybe you're just not attracted to anyone right now."

Cartman blushed and looked away before coughing. "I am into someone, though. That's how I know."

"Who is it?" Kyle isn't sure why he asked, but as soon as he did, he felt like Cartman's response was monumentally important; like it would be the answer to the universe. Unlikely, but logic had apparently flown out the door.

"Like I'd tell you." Cartman tilted his head, examining Kyle's expression quietly. "Why are you being so weird about this anyway?"

Kyle thought about what to say in response. It was weird to him that despite the fact he wouldn't exactly call him his friend, they were able to sit here and have a civil albeit uncomfortable and possibly life changing conversation. Sure, they'd gotten closer over the past few years, but this was the sort of conversation Kyle could never imagine having with anyone, except maybe Stan. Yet there he was, sitting across from Cartman trying to find the best way to say that sometimes he thought about kissing boys.

"Can I..." he stopped to clear his throat, and the rest of the question came out in a whisper. "Can I try something?" At that point Kyle's heart was pounding and he was sure it would rip out of his chest, and he couldn't stop his eyes from darting to Cartman's lips.

"Uh... sure." Kyle hesitated before scooting closer and resting his hands on Cartman's lower thighs. With the thought of 'now or never' going through his head, he leaned forward and placed a small kiss on the bow of Cartman's lip before pulling away to gauge his reaction. He gave Kyle a shy smile. "You can do that again. If you want."

Kyle didn't have to think about it before moving forward to give Cartman a proper kiss, and if the fluttering in his chest was any indication, then oh yeah, Kyle was gay. Definitely gay.

They hadn't gone further than kissing that day, and honestly neither of them minded. It just felt so relieving in a way to do that, just sit there and memorize the feeling of each other's lips. Of course, being that they are still teenagers, over the course of two months it became a lot less innocent, but still just as private. No strings attached, they had decided. Kyle wasn't ready to come out of the closet and neither of them were actually sure how they felt about the other, so dating was just off the table.

Sitting on his bed and waiting for Cartman to show up, though, Kyle thought that maybe putting a label on what they had going on wasn't such a bad idea. Since they'd started fooling around, they had gotten closer. They didn't fight all the time (but of course they still argued, that would never change) and now they even valued each other's company, opting to hang out after school even when their other friends weren't around. Plus, Kyle had to admit that Cartman was pretty cute.

A series of taps on his window alerts him to Cartman presence, and so he saunters over and opens the window to let him in. He struggles with pulling himself through before plopping ungracefully onto the floor with a thump. "I thought you said your window was open."

"I lied. It's cold as fuck outside, I wasn't going to just leave my window open." Kyle shrugs and walks back over to his bed, sitting down and crossing his legs.

"You're right, it is cold as fuck outside." Cartman says with a sly smile as he moves to sit beside Kyle. "Feel my hands." Before Kyle can process the statement, Cartman lifts Kyle's shirt up and presses his frigid fingers against his back.

"You fucking asshole!" Kyle shrieks, trying to move out of Cartman's grip. "That's cold, stop!"

"Alright, alright. I'll stop." he says, pulling away and kicking his boots off. "Can't let me have any fun, can you Sergeant Buzz Kill?"

Kyle rolls his eyes and shoves Cartman lightly against the bed. "Buzz kill? What, did you think I invited you over to do taxes or something?"

"Or something." Cartman responds cheekily before leaning up into Kyle's kiss. Kyle slowly moves to straddle Cartman's thighs and lay across his chest. They're not in any rush, so Kyle takes his time. His lips linger on Cartman's lips, his jaw, his ear, and his neck, tongue darting out here and there to taste his skin. Beneath him, Cartman moans and it sends a shiver through his body. Cartman sneaks his still icy hands under Kyle's shirt and runs them over his back as Kyle sucks a bruise onto his collarbone. "Fuck," he breathes.

Kyle smirks and moves his hand down to Cartman's belt. "Hard already?" he asks, brushing his hand against his bulge before undoing his jeans.

"Shut up." Cartman blushes. Kyle loves how shy he gets when they're in bed together. Usually he's so arrogant and full of himself, but out of his element he lets Kyle lead the way.

"You must really want me." he teases, lifting Cartman's shirt up so he can leave a trail of bites and kisses down his chest and stomach.

"God, just hurry up." Cartman huffs, squirming. Kyle ignores the demand for a few moments longer before stroking his cock through the fabric of his boxers. "Christ."

Kyle looks up at Cartman with half-lidded eyes. "You want me to suck you off?" he asks in what he hopes is a seductive voice. It must be, because Cartman just moans in response, face scarlet. Kyle pulls his boxers down to expose his cock before licking a stripe up the length of it, getting off on the noises that Cartman is making. He starts slow, taking him into his mouth one agonizing inch at a time while Cartman slowly falls apart, turning into a whimpering mess. "Kyle-" he says when he starts to speed up, but then they stop, hearing a familiar voice downstairs.

"Thanks Mrs. Broflovski," Stan says, and then they hear footsteps coming up the stairs. Kyle rolls off on Cartman, falling on the floor as a result. "Shit." he exclaims. Cartman is busy trying to tuck himself back into his pants while Kyle silently panics from his spot on the floor. "You've gotta go."

"What do you want me to do, jump out the goddamn window?" Cartman hisses. Kyle doesn't have time to respond because then there's a knock at his door. Cartman looks around in fear before stumbling towards Kyle's closet and shutting himself inside quickly, just before Stan lets himself in.

"Kyle?" Stan asks, shutting the door behind himself. "Why are you on the floor, dude?" Kyle knows his face is redder than his hair, but he hopes Stan won't mention it.

"I fell out of bed." Stan blinks. "Okay." Shaking his head, he asks, "are you feeling okay?"

Kyle stands up, adjusting his clothes. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. What's up?"

"I just wanted to see if you and the guys were interested in staying over. My parents had to take Shelly out of town for some recital or something. I figured we could just play video games and order pizza."

Kyle looks over Stan's shoulder to eye his closet, as if asking it's opinion. When the closet doesn't answer, he tries to come up with an excuse. "Well, I have a lot of homework I need to finish... I don't think the guys are free tonight anyway." Kyle rubs his neck and hopes he sounds convincing.

"Oh, I texted Kenny before I got here, he said yes already. I just needed to ask you and Cartman." Stan pauses, and then goes on. "I guess I'll call him now." Whipping out his phone, he dials Cartman's number, much to Kyle's horror.

"Wait, no!" Kyle feels his heart drop to the floor when Wonderwall by Oasis starts playing in his closet.

"Do you hear that?" Stan asks, looking around for the source of noise. "Sounds like Wonderwall." Kyle panics and shoves Stan towards his door.

"You know what? I just remembered that I don't feel well. Sorry Stan, I'll have to give you a rain check, but I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

"Uh, okay?" Stan puts his foot down just outside Kyle's room so he can give him a concerned look. "Are you going to be okay? Maybe we could just hang here." Kyle shakes his head.

"Nope, can't do that. I'm probably contagious." he coughs for good measure before sniffling pathetically. "See you later, Stan." Stan's goodbye is cut short when Kyle slams his door shut, leaning against it and not budging until he hears the footsteps retreat. After another moment, Cartman opens the closet door, and reemerges from it for the second time in two months.

"That was really smooth, Kyle. I'm sure Stan didn't expect a thing."

"Oh, fuck off. It's not like I could've asked for your help." Kyle flops back down on his bed, no longer in the mood to do anything but wallow in self pity. He feels the bed dip next to him.

"Remind me again why it would be oh-so terrible for Stan to have seen me here? You could have very easily said we were working on German together." Cartman says. Kyle lifts his face to glower at him.

"Yeah, and maybe that would have worked if you hadn't been hard." Cartman flushes and looks away. "Besides, I doubt you'd want anyone to know about whatever this is either." Kyle says, waving his hand. Cartman doesn't reply at first, so Kyle buries his face in his bed again.

"I wouldn't really mind." Kyle hums but otherwise doesn't acknowledge what he said. "It's not like we're doing anything horrible."

"Sure, let's just tell everyone we're fuck buddies then." Kyle laughs quietly.

Cartman shakes his head and smacks Kyle's shoulder lightly. "No, I mean..." Kyle sits up on his elbows and watches Cartman's face. He looks uncomfortable, and almost embarrassed. Kyle isn't really sure why, since they aren't even doing anything but talking at the moment. "Like, we could tell people we're together, you know?"

Kyle rolls his eyes. "No one would even believe that. Besides, we're not 'together'. We've never even been on a date."

"Kyle, you dense mother fucker." Cartman facepalms before exhaling shakily. "I'm asking you to go out with me."

Kyle's speechless, and he knows that realistically he shouldn't be. Things were going in this direction already, they're just making it official now. But now that it's out in the open, Kyle's kind of scared. How is he supposed to tell everyone he's day and has been with Cartman for two months? His mom might actually kill him for keeping that a secret. It wasn't a question of whether he was into Cartman or not, he just didn't want the entirety of South Park to know that he was gay. It's weird to him how quickly he shuts down the idea when it's actually presented despite just thinking it was a good idea not too long ago. His feelings haven't changed, but his anxiety definitely overpowers any other emotion.

Cartman takes Kyle's silence as a 'no', so he sighs and stands, moving to retrieve his boots. "Where are you going?"

"Home." he deadpans, and Kyle realizes he's just fucked up and he needs to fix it, like, immediately.

"When's our date?"

"I'm sure you'll let me know." Cartman spits, and yeah, okay, that kind of hurt. Kyle sits up and watches him leave, doing his best not to yell at him. When he's gone, Kyle throws a pillow at his window and crosses his arms.

"Dick." he huffs, but he's kind of not entirely sure which one of them he's referring to.

* * *

><p><strong>A.N.: yeah idk, i just wanted to try to write something semi-amusing, but apparently i'm incapable of writing something that doesn't have angst, oops : also; title is from a Marina and the Diamonds song called "Lies" which i highly recommend. i have a vague idea of where im going with this, but i dont know how long this is gonna be ehhhhhhhh anyway, thank you for reading! xx **


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